Jona vs. Bradley

Okay so after reading Part 1 of the NPR series, I have one question, why is Zucker’s approach more common in the United States.  Zucker’s approach left Bradley hating the color pink, he seems mal-adjusted and when asked about wanting to be a girl he clearly says no out of fright. Is that how you would want to live? I wouldn’t.  Jona– is accepted, she seems happy and her parents are accepting. Yes, deciding to change your gender is a big idea, and irreversible. But I think the idea to suppress those issues in the case with Bradley (Zucker) it seems even worse.  I have an unsettling feeling in my stomach that Zucker is the head of the DSM-V group.  Why is this the case?

Also I leave everyone with this quote from part 1, as I prepare my self to read part-2:

Jonah, Now Jona

For their part, Joel and his wife Pam say they are clearly happy with the choice they’ve made. Joel says he now thinks of Jonah as his daughter, and he says that she — Jona — is thriving.

“She’s so comfortable with her own being when she’s simply left to be who she is without any of these restrictions being put on her. It’s just remarkable to see.”

In terms of which of these therapies is more prevalent in the United States, Ehrensaft says there is absolutely no doubt.

“Zucker’s,” she says.

Ehrensaft hopes this will change. She says that professional opinion on this subject is in incredible flux — that the treatment of transgender children is becoming a kind of civil rights issue, in the same way that the psychiatric treatment of homosexuals became a civil rights issue in the 1970s.

In the meantime, though, Zucker’s approach continues to thrive. He says nearly 80 children are on the waiting list at his clinic in Toronto.

NPR– 2 part series on Transgender Children– amendment!

Firstly, thank you to Nicole for pointing this out to me.

NPR recently broadcast a 2-part series on transgender children. Blog and my thoughts to follow.

Here are the links:

Part 1: Two Families Grapple With Sons’ Gender Preferences

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90247842

Part 2: Parents Consider Treatment to Delay Son’s Puberty

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90273278

Follow-up:

One of the families uses Dr. Zucker’s Treatments, the other Dr. Ehrensaft. Dr. Zucker and Dr. Ehrensaft come from a very different approach to treating transgender children. Dr. Ehrensaft encourages the transgender child and uses transgender friendly terms. Zucker, on the other hand, well why don’t you just read this snippet and make your own decision:

From Zucker’s Work as published on NPR:

“Suppose you were a clinician and a 4-year-old black kid came into your office and said he wanted to be white. Would you go with that? … I don’t think we would,” Zucker says.

If a black kid walked into a therapist’s office saying he was really white, the goal of pretty much any therapist out there would be to make him try to feel more comfortable being black. They would assume his mistaken beliefs were the product of a dysfunctional environment — a dysfunctional family or a dysfunctional cultural environment that led him or her to engage in this wrongheaded and dangerous fantasy. This is how Zucker sees gender-disordered kids. He sees these behaviors primarily as a product of dysfunction.

The mistake the other side makes, Zucker argues, is that it views gender identity disorder primarily as a product of biology. This, Zucker says, is, “astonishingly naive and simplistic.”

Zucker has come to believe that taking the view that kids are born transgender ultimately produces more transgender people.

Also, Thank you to Gender Outlaw for pointing this out! You know I read about the appointment of Zucker and the DSM-V and the horrors, thanks for being on top of this! Zucker is the head of The Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Work Group. Zucker along with 13 others will have significant impact on what goes into the DSM-V.

Read Gender Oulaw’s blog for more until I have time to post my thoughts!!

And lastly,

SIGN THIS PROTEST TO GET ZUCKER OFF THE GROUP!

Transition at work– looking back

TRANSITION AT WORK

 

Deciding to transition is a monumental decision in anyone’s life. Deciding to do it while remaining at the same job, is an even great challenge for some. Fortunately for me, I work with a great company and great people and my reception and transition on the job was met with comfort, support and encouragement.  I wanted to share my story with everyone so that the good stories could be balaned in with the horror ones I found.

It’s sad, but when I researched fellow FTM’s that had gone down the same path as myself, many of them had not kept the same job they had when prior to transitioning. Others took some time off from work and re-entered the work force as their male selves — starting over and only telling a few select people– HR/upper management about their past so the resume and references all matched up.  A few people were fortunate enough to work in great places that except them, but they seemed to be working at trans oriented places like health centers or gay/lesbian youth centers. I also spoke to some people at the FTM alliance and again– mixed reviews on the transition at work process. 

 I’m a pretty outgoing, confrontational person (for better or worse) and I decided that I was going to face my fears and reservations. I did not want to leave the job I was at because it was a great opportunity at a premiere post production house in LA.  But at the same time, I could not delay my need to transition.  I decided to come out as transgendered at work, but had no idea where to start.  My first resource after talking with friends and members in the community were handouts and pamphlets created by TLC and the HRC on transitioning at work. I read those over to know my rights and how to best go about this. Luckily for me, I work in one of the few states– California– in which it is illegal to discriminate based on gender idenitity.  This was a big confidence builder in knowing that no matter what, I could not be fired because of my decision to transition or come out as transgendered.  

The first recommendation from the packet I read was to tell my immediate boss about my plans and be as open as my comfort level allowed.  I decided to tell a co-worker that I knew rather well and he encouraged me to tell my immediate boss about my plans.  She was very accepting and helped me come up with a plan to tell our HR/Operations manager and then ultimately our CEO.  I work at a company with roughly 50 employees with a median age of 30. I also work in an industry that is a bit less conservative then the normal social curve then American society, so I had that going for me.  The 5 people in my immediate department were amazing, fully supportive and embraced my new name and identity.  I had the confidence I needed to tell our HR/Operations manager.  

The next step was telling him about my desire to transition.  This was early November and I had been on testosterone for 2 weeks at this point– In a few months I knew that the hormones would start to lower my voice and changes would become noticable. It was now or never to let them know what was happening.  I told him flat out what was going on, the process, what I expected from my employer and opened the discussion up for questions.  He said that I was the first person at the job (obviously) that was transitioning and he wanted to do more research so he was well versed in the subject. Thankfully HRC and TLC have packets available for upper management on effective implementation of transgendered people in the work force. There are also resources available on changing employee handbooks to have gender inclusion.  Finally, the topic of the restroom came up and we both decided to do some research on this as well.

 

The next step was to meet with our CEO and discuss my plans with him.  My immedaite supervisor and the HR/Operations Manager had a brief meeting with him and then invited me in. He came up to me with open arms hugged me and said that the company was fully supportive of my decision and was going to work with me to ensure that my transition at the company was met with open arms and was as smooth as possible.  Those were the best words any trans guy could hear! HUGE weight lifted off my back. Alhthough I knew the road was still a tough one ahead, it helped tremendously to know that I had the support of our CEO and the company.  

Over the next several weeks, we met with the company lawyer to go over our employee handbook and policy to incorporate gender identity inclusions.  We also mapped out a timeline of when to tell my fellow employees and clients that I deal with on a regular basis. Part of this process was to educate everyone about trans senstive terminology. I welcomed all qusetions and gathered as much research as I could.  We finally decided that I was also going to use the men’s restroom moving forward when the official announcement was made.  Every step of the plan was approved by me and I was able to dictate what level of comfort I had before any major decisions and changes were implemented. We decided that in 2 weeks I would tell the department heads and then at our year end state of the union, I would briefly address my fellow employees on my decision to transition. This was my decision to talk directly to everyone because I felt I could dictate the course of the discussion and choose my words carefully.   

December 17th, 2007, I stood up before 45+ employees and let everyone know that I was no longer going to be known as my female name and that I was embarking on a transition and was going to change my name to Dylan, taking hormones and becoming a man. It was made known to everyone that I would prefer male pronouns such as “he” and “him” but that of course, I knew this process was not going to happen over night, especially with the name. My biggest request was that they honor and respect my request and try their best. At the end of my 5 minute request, the entire company gave me a group hug and welcomed me with open arms.  

January 2nd 2008– I entered the doors of my company as Dylan. I started using the men’s restroom and almost everyone right away referred to me as male and used my new name.  It was amazing!! I could not have asked for a better receptoin.  Along the way, people still continue to ask me questions about my transition, the process, etc. and I welcome those questions with openess as I feel it’s the best situation for me.   

It has now been 5 months since my official transition at work and I am happy to report that it’s pretty much business as usual. I have had no trouble with the transition and everyone calls me Dylan.  I changed all of my paperwork with no trouble and have support around every corner.  I realize that everyone’s situation is different, especially if you live in a state in which you are not legally covered against discrmination, but I really wanted to share my story and offer it up as hope to everyone out there that transitioning on the job can be done and can be met with open arms and acceptance.  

Furthermore, if anyone has any questions as to how the process was for me or any of the leg work I did, please contact me at dylanmcginty@gmail.com and keep up with my transition process at dylansworld.wordpress.org  

“To be nobody but yourself in a world that’s doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting. “~ e. e. cummings

License — Finally!

I finally got my California Driver’s License with my new name and gender!! more to follow… stay tuned!

Transgender Lobby Day– I missed it!

I am just now starting to do my own research on Transgender lobbying and organizations out there fighting the good fight for trans inclusive bills and being more proactive. Found this on the NCTE webpage today– these things need to be more public at sites like FTM ALLIANCE and FTMi so more Trans people can help with the cause or raise awareness.

See Below

———

Were you frustrated, angry or disappointed at Congress’ decision to set aside the transgender-inclusive version of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA)?

Were you excited by the passage of a transgender-inclusive Hate Crimes bill?

Do you believe elected officials need to hear directly from transgender people about the bills and issues that impact our lives?

If so, come to DC for Lobby Day on April 14 & 15!

Members of Congress have said that more education is needed in order to convince their colleagues to vote for legislation that includes gender identity and expression; let’s make sure they hear from us loudly and clearly this year that only full equality under the law is acceptable to our community. Our community needs — and deserves — full protections against the rampant discrimination we face. Will you help us send this message?

We must make sure our elected officials understand who we are and why our community needs protetions agains workplace discrimination and violence. To do this, we need as many diverse members of the transgender community as we can gather, and our families and allies, to come to Washington, DC on April 14-15 to speak directly to our members of Congress.

We must tell legislators why a transgender-inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act is absolutely essential.  We need to share the real story of trangender lives: our need for basic health care and employment; the right to raise our families and have safe homes; and the chronic harassment and violence that many of us face on a daily basis.  Our representatives need to know that there are transgender people living in thier districts, voting and participating in the civic life of our nation.  And we need to show our politicians and the other organzations in our nation’s capital the strength of our commitment to stand up for transgender civil rights.

Join us on April 14-15 for what we are sure will be the largest transgender Lobby Day to date. Last year broke records, but this year we need your presence even more. This year’s event will include:

• A comprehensive training session to make sure you have all of the information you need for an effective and positive visit with your member of Congress
• A rally on the Capitol steps for transgender rights
• A briefing on all of the major public policy issues impacting the transgender community right now
• A reception at the National Press Club (separate ticket)
• If this is your first time visiting your member of Congress, we’ll provide assistance in making the appointment and getting you started

Here’s what you can do to help:

• Plan to come to Washington, DC April 14-15
• Help organize a delegation from your city, town, or state
• Volunteer to help make appointments and assist others for whom this is their first lobbying experience; please contact us at ncte@nctequality.org to let us know if you are willing to volunteer
• Spread the word to others in our community by forwarding this information and future announcements about lobby day; let people know why you think this is an important event
• Raise funds to help people come to lobby day who would not otherwise be able to afford it; you can donate money or frequent flyer miles to the scholarship fund or assist others through a local organization
• Write about it in your blog or newsletter; send e-mails to your friends and colleagues about why it is vital for the transgender community to send this message to Congress

Participating in Lobby Day, including the training, policy briefing and rally, is free. We do need you to register in advance so that we can plan for your participation and make sure that you are able to meet with your member of Congress. Once you register, we’ll send you a comprehensive packet of information about how to prepare for your visit. Click to register today!

There will be a ticket charge for the reception, to defray our costs and to help raise funds to support this and ongoing efforts to educate Congress about the need for transgender-inclusive legislation. Scholarships are available; please contact us at ncte@nctequality.org for more information. Click for more information.

gender terrorist

So I’ve recently been denied a US Passport because I do not have the necessary surgeries required under the Patriot Act to change my gender on my passport.  I also don’t have the necessary surgeries to change my birth certificate either.  However, I am on testosterone and live full time as a male member of society– this grants me a gender change according to the more liberal practices of the CA state DMV.  So basically, If I have a license and photo ID claiming me to be male and then a passport that says differently, this will create even more of a headache and red flag in my opinion and of course does not make sense.  Why are you so worried about my gender? Am I really a gender terrorist?

The surgery you (government, people that vote these laws into practice, the uninformed masses..etc.) require me to get is close to $8,000. It is something I would get in a heart beat if I had the proper finances. However, the insurance company does not cover it. So US Dept. of State, are you going to cover the cost in the surgery you’re requiring me to get so I am allowed to freely leave my country? No, didn’t think so. I am a prisoner, trapped and stripped of my rights to come and go freely.

If I send a letter stating my intent to get surgery, I MAY be allowed a LIMITED passport book. thank you for that. I feel less like a gender terrorist already.  Thank you for your genorisity. It really means a lot that I MAY be allowed to leave the country and that it will be a LIMITED time so my rights will then be taken away again.  But please, by all mean, let the actual terrorists in, the ones planting the bombs, infiltrating our government and blowing up our buildings. By all means, allow them safe passage in and out of the country. But definitely fear the gender terrorist trying to go visit friends in Sweden or take a weekend trip to Mexico.

The Pregnant Man

So I needed a few days to compose my thoughts about this subject before blogging. On Thursday, 4/3/08 Thomas Beatie and his wife Nancy, announced to the world via the Orpah show that they were pregnant. The catch was that Thomas is transgendered and was carrying the child himself. So the media pull was that this man was pregnant. Well the headlines were correct. He transitioned and to coin the Oprah phrase is transgendering (thank you Oprah for inventing that word for me). He was on testosterone for 8 years and then went off it for 2 years before he became pregnant. [now of course, I am not his doctor nor do I know this for a fact, but this is the information I am able to gather from reputable news sources]. He did have top surgery to remove his breasts, but opted to not have bottom surgery leaving his uterus and ovaries in tact. This afforded him the ability to reproduce and thus he is pregnant with a child.

My feelings on this subject:

1. I don’t think the subject was approached correctly by the media / Oprah or even Thomas. I think the circus display of “pregnant man” was a bit too much. They should have explained the idea behind transitioning and being transgendered a bit. At least Thomas got to say his piece that his sexual orientation and attraction towards women had nothing to do with his gender identity. Point for the trans community. And he got to say that his desire to carry a child had nothing to do with his feelings of masculinity or femininity but it was a human desire. Point for the trans community!

2. I think it left much of the world with lots of questions and a very IN YOUR FACE situation. Which I”m all about, the world needs to know. and I’m grateful everyone was talking about it. But more needs to then be said about it, more follow up, not just the freak show and we’re out. It was great to hear people call me and say “i saw a pregnant transman on Oprah”. or the questions I fielded the next day on how this was possible and why, etc. Those were great life challenging, society changing questions. But I’m not sure where the support from his fellow transmen are or the trans community in general since I only found one semi-supportive blog about it on FTMI.

3. I am completely supportive of him and his wife. Their desire to have a child is a human right and I say good for him. Could I go off testosterone for 2 years? No probably not it’s not something I desire. I’m not even sure how his hormones can’t be all crazy with the increase or progesterone and estrogen and the residuals of testosterone. But he seemed perfectly happy and content. I say — way to go Thomas for bringing your story to the world– even if the media did make it into a circus– and hopefully you make it through your pregnancy safely.

Surgeries

Why is it that the surgeries to create a vagina are way more advanced then the ones to create a penis? You know the white male establishment sat around and had a big hard on when they perfected the surgery to create a vagina. Look how good we are, we created pussy. Commend us. Give us your money. We can create women.  But then when a female came around and said she wanted to have sexual reassignment surgery and wanted a penis in place of her vagina. Those same fuckers ran and hid.

OK so that’s a bit of an exaggeration.  I understand it’s much easier to remove then create. But it’s 2008 and we are doing some amazing things in the medical field today. I can’t imagine that since the early 60s when surgeons first started doing SRS surgery until now, nothing more then the few options are available.  It also always seems like a trade off as well. You can trade function for pleasure. Or pleasure for function.  Not both.  Not fair! Transmen already wear their chest scars, couple that with the phalloplasty scars — it just gets crazy.  Genetic engineering, cloning, stem cell research, creating a functioning penis in which you can re-route the urethra and urinate from needs to be on the forefront of medicine in the years to come. Then and only then will I vote to get this surgery.  When the medical mass actually spends research money and energy into creating something as sacred as their mighty penis.

So then, what is the difference between men and women?

So I took a lot of hits for both blogging about the annoyance of being called a woman still and about their being no exact indisputable single definition of defines a woman and/or a man.  My point was not to be contradictory or to negate that there are not fundamentally differences between the sexes; I was just merely pointing out how difficult it is to actually come up with a definition and actually not have it negated. Thus bringing to light the reign of transgendered folks like myself. People pushing the boundaries of socially conformed gender roles. Men without penis’s. Women without vaginas. Men injecting testosterone into their bodies, growing facial hair without having testes.  Men having top surgery to appear more male. Of course, we do these things to appear “male”. The male sense, that like it or not society and the world imposes on every human being.  The reason people have to use gender pronouns and address people like “hello ladies” is because it’s settling for them to have easily definable genders they can easily read.  Long hair, boobs, soft skin, make-up. Woman.  Facial hair, flat chest, cock–man.  But what happens when you through someone who doesn’t fit into that box in the mix. Someone who is genderqueer or transgendered? You’re left with the gender guessing game.  Um.. ma’am/sir I …. Or hello ladies, when in fact it’s a guy and a girl. And then you realize you made a mistake and draw attention to the gender mix up that just happened.  Challenging gender challenges society.  If men exist in this world without penis’s then what does make a man a man if it really has nothing to do with his cock?

I think being male is equally parts biological, psychological and sociological and yes there will be exceptions to every rule and nothing can fit into the box (just as my last blog said). But for the most part there are more male characteristics that generally are not associated with being female.  For me, taking testosterone makes me appear more masculine.  I feel like the outer me matches the inner me.  I love the facial hair and the hair in general that is sprouting all over my body.  I also think that men think differently then women. And I have first hand experience on this.  Men are less emotional– testosterone gave me the ability to turn my emotions off which I was never able to do before. Now I’m not saying men aren’t sensitive or capable of emotion, I’m just saying that the biological chemical make-up of testosterone creates less emotional turmoil then that of a person with lots of progesterone and estrogen.  I also have an insatiable urge to sit on the couch with my PBR and scratch my balls more often.  (much to the chagrin of those I hang out with I love me some PBR).  Men are treated differently socially as well. When going to dinner with a woman, the man is often handed the bill from the wait staff. Men are also expected to hold the door for a woman and it would be looked at different if you held that door for a fellow man.  Men don’t talk to each other in restrooms– we just look at the floor.  In the women’s room, it was all chat all the time.  Testosterone makes you horny– lots of women are horny too, but man did I get a boost in this when I initially started T.  Men are biologically stronger. Yes, it’s obvious lots of woman can be stronger then men, but I can lift things with ease now that I struggled with before and I don’t even go to the gym. I even gained 15 pounds of pure muscle wait just from the hormones.

It’s with these and many more countless examples that the real difference between men and women lies. And you can negate and debate every example and say “but woman are the same way” and “that’s not true for all” of course it’s not. But that’s what I’ve experienced in my 4 short months on the other side of the looking glass.

Men vs. Women… Do I miss womanhood?

I think the first thing to address with this question is that I never really felt like a woman or a female member of society. Not in comparison to the women that I hang out with and the experiences that they have and their interaction with the world.

And secondly, there is a fundamental issue here that I think I need to address first. For me, there is no straightforward, indisputable, dictionary definition that I can give for what defines someone’s sex as male and what defines someone’s sex as female.  And I think I’m the perfect example of this loop hole.  And I won’t use myself as the default although I could negate everything and say “well i’m a man and I don’t have a penis, testicles or XY DNA, but I’ll take the challenge one step further.

If you were to tell me. Men have penis’s and women have vagina’s.  Well then I’d have to say, what about hermophrodites? Or people born without fully developed sex organs. Do we just leave them out of this? My 1-inch cock may be bigger then some biological men and I’m just a transguy taking hormones.

Well men have testicles and women have ovaries. Therefore, men produce sperm and women do not.  Again– many men have been born with testicles, not to mention the millions of Americans who unfortunately fall victim to cancer.  But nice try it was one of the best attempts I had at answering this.

Men have an XY chromosome and Women have XX chromosomes.  Well, there are many DNA chromosomal abnormalities that plague this world. XXY — Klinefelter Syndrome that affects men leaving them with many medical troubles, lower sperm count, etc.  Or X only females with Turner’s syndrome leaving them with very masculine physiques.

Again, these are just examples of some of the more challenging answers to this question.  You can go on a more simple level and say– men have facial hair and women don’t, but I would then say that the people who own hair removal shops would beg to differ. You can say women have larger breasts and men don’t, but damn, i’ve been extremely upset to find a nice pair on some men.

Women can carry children, Men can not.  Yes, The one difference, barring no chromosomal abnormalities or no hormone induced medical reasons why this cannot happen, between the sexes is the ability to carry a child.  But, many women cannot, and are unfortunately infertile or rely on serious drugs, invitro, etc.  And many couples choose to adopt. So again, not a 100% indisputable definition.

And this brings me back to my initial question– do you miss anything from womanhood. The answer is only the ability to carry a child, if my “female” body could have carried one, which due to an increased testosterone / androgen level innate in my body and my bodies inability to ovulate I could not do anyway.  But I am then forced, like most men in the world, to rely on a women to produce children or the government to grand me permission to foster or adopt a kid– a child who ultimately was born from a woman.

I don’t ever think I fully grasped the concept as female before taking testosterone and was never really viewed as a female.  It made my transition that much easier.