So then, what is the difference between men and women?

March 27, 2008

So I took a lot of hits for both blogging about the annoyance of being called a woman still and about their being no exact indisputable single definition of defines a woman and/or a man.  My point was not to be contradictory or to negate that there are not fundamentally differences between the sexes; I was just merely pointing out how difficult it is to actually come up with a definition and actually not have it negated. Thus bringing to light the reign of transgendered folks like myself. People pushing the boundaries of socially conformed gender roles. Men without penis’s. Women without vaginas. Men injecting testosterone into their bodies, growing facial hair without having testes.  Men having top surgery to appear more male. Of course, we do these things to appear “male”. The male sense, that like it or not society and the world imposes on every human being.  The reason people have to use gender pronouns and address people like “hello ladies” is because it’s settling for them to have easily definable genders they can easily read.  Long hair, boobs, soft skin, make-up. Woman.  Facial hair, flat chest, cock–man.  But what happens when you through someone who doesn’t fit into that box in the mix. Someone who is genderqueer or transgendered? You’re left with the gender guessing game.  Um.. ma’am/sir I …. Or hello ladies, when in fact it’s a guy and a girl. And then you realize you made a mistake and draw attention to the gender mix up that just happened.  Challenging gender challenges society.  If men exist in this world without penis’s then what does make a man a man if it really has nothing to do with his cock?

I think being male is equally parts biological, psychological and sociological and yes there will be exceptions to every rule and nothing can fit into the box (just as my last blog said). But for the most part there are more male characteristics that generally are not associated with being female.  For me, taking testosterone makes me appear more masculine.  I feel like the outer me matches the inner me.  I love the facial hair and the hair in general that is sprouting all over my body.  I also think that men think differently then women. And I have first hand experience on this.  Men are less emotional– testosterone gave me the ability to turn my emotions off which I was never able to do before. Now I’m not saying men aren’t sensitive or capable of emotion, I’m just saying that the biological chemical make-up of testosterone creates less emotional turmoil then that of a person with lots of progesterone and estrogen.  I also have an insatiable urge to sit on the couch with my PBR and scratch my balls more often.  (much to the chagrin of those I hang out with I love me some PBR).  Men are treated differently socially as well. When going to dinner with a woman, the man is often handed the bill from the wait staff. Men are also expected to hold the door for a woman and it would be looked at different if you held that door for a fellow man.  Men don’t talk to each other in restrooms– we just look at the floor.  In the women’s room, it was all chat all the time.  Testosterone makes you horny– lots of women are horny too, but man did I get a boost in this when I initially started T.  Men are biologically stronger. Yes, it’s obvious lots of woman can be stronger then men, but I can lift things with ease now that I struggled with before and I don’t even go to the gym. I even gained 15 pounds of pure muscle wait just from the hormones.

It’s with these and many more countless examples that the real difference between men and women lies. And you can negate and debate every example and say “but woman are the same way” and “that’s not true for all” of course it’s not. But that’s what I’ve experienced in my 4 short months on the other side of the looking glass.

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